i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
