he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
He felt like a one man threesome
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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