____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Randomize
