Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize