$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
