I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
