How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
