We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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