The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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