She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
