I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
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