I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
