I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
