no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize