Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
