called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
