with your own penis?
I'm gonna have a badass scar
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
