playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I need moral support for this bender
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize
