So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I wish you could order shots online.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize