Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
well you can't waste a boner
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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