I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize