I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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