Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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