I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
