ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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