Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
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