God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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