She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
