i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
