she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
