This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
