508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Randomize
