When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Randomize
