We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
