mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
My dick has a subreddit
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
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