Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
