we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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