Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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