My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
