Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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