Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
