He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
