East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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