Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
