i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
