Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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