How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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