Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
not ubering you a puppy
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
