break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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