i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
