We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
