So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I am naked and annoyed.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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