when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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