East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
