Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
