You just made me feel so damn special
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
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