Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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