His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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