i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
