To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
