Texts From Last Night

(410): View more from Maryland

I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.

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I mean, think about it, dawg,\nthe real story of Pocahontas\nis about a bunch of white boys\nwho come to my land,\nbribe the corrupt indian chief,\nkill off all the warriors\nand fuck the indian princess silly.

Submitted by snowboat on Jul 3, 10 at 12:40am

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Lucky bastard I wanna be friends with a racoon

Submitted by brandontcr on Jul 2, 10 at 2:15pm

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<3

Submitted by TheMidnightNinja on Jul 2, 10 at 2:22pm

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Aha great

Submitted by softball17 on Jul 2, 10 at 2:15pm

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I sorta high-fived a racoon through glass door at a cabin once

Submitted by Rees1003 on Jul 3, 10 at 4:14am

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I once fucked a ratcoon in the ass and got rabies so what do u say about tht?

Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 3, 10 at 12:11am

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- That you're an imbecile.
  
  Submitted by Cpt_Underpants on Jul 4, 10 at 2:03am
  
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Racoons are such cute little bastards!

Submitted by mcat on Jul 3, 10 at 3:39pm

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Me too! I have pictures!

Submitted by jewishbagel on Jul 3, 10 at 3:00am

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Is "Pocahontas" drunk before or after "Batman" drunk?

Submitted by JDogish on Jul 2, 10 at 5:45pm

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Maryland? Yeah

Submitted by jawsshark on Jul 2, 10 at 4:28pm

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I grew up in Kansas City, I'm friends with all kinds of coons

Submitted by jbambam on Jul 2, 10 at 2:24pm

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I have 2 of them cute critters

Submitted by tabertot on Jul 3, 10 at 12:31am

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That High?????.....

Submitted by APromiseToBurn on Jul 2, 10 at 3:31pm

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Ambien does that to ya;)

Submitted by panicparty5 on Jul 3, 10 at 1:17am

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then it bit you and you got rabies!

Submitted by here2say on Aug 4, 10 at 10:46am

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damn thats bad ass

Submitted by treesmokertea on Jul 3, 10 at 11:34am

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You are a charm

Submitted by jaal on Jul 2, 10 at 6:18pm

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OK folks, a little lesson in animal behavior and health. First, racoons are curious and friendly and will often interact w/ people if approached gently. Second, you can only get rabies from a bite. Third, rabbid animals are not friendly.

Submitted by necrocat on Jul 2, 10 at 10:04pm

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- Sick animals often act friendlier than normal, though.
  
  Submitted by DerKarismatisch on Aug 11, 12 at 11:24pm
  
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Ha yeah good. In a week or two u'll be biting people like Cujo. U never heard of rabies?

Submitted by IMGr8NU on Jul 2, 10 at 2:23pm

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Those must have been some good drugs

Submitted by disturbedin1992 on Jul 3, 10 at 2:59am

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Haha.

Submitted by roflasian7 on Jul 2, 10 at 3:33pm

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I had a pet raccoon named Becky. She was awesome. Lived in the house and was litter trained.

Submitted by kcs99 on Jul 3, 10 at 1:22am

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What the hell is wrong with you

Submitted by wolve on Jul 3, 10 at 12:33am

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Thanks for embarrassing! Now everyone knows I nicknamed my penis raccoon. Your cut off!

Submitted by YoullDo on Jul 3, 10 at 9:01am

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Hahah my fav.

Submitted by ktrb on Jul 2, 10 at 11:37pm

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Rabies? Have fun.

Submitted by TheMidnightNinja on Jul 2, 10 at 3:26pm

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hahaha rabies.

Submitted by Anonymous159753 on Jul 2, 10 at 3:26pm

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this made me smile :D who would dare mark this as a bad night...

Submitted by lionheart618 on Jul 8, 10 at 6:15pm

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(410): View more from Maryland

Comments

Submitted by snowboat on Jul 3, 10 at 12:40am

Submitted by brandontcr on Jul 2, 10 at 2:15pm

Submitted by TheMidnightNinja on Jul 2, 10 at 2:22pm

Submitted by softball17 on Jul 2, 10 at 2:15pm

Submitted by Rees1003 on Jul 3, 10 at 4:14am

Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 3, 10 at 12:11am

Submitted by Cpt_Underpants on Jul 4, 10 at 2:03am

Submitted by mcat on Jul 3, 10 at 3:39pm

Submitted by jewishbagel on Jul 3, 10 at 3:00am

Submitted by JDogish on Jul 2, 10 at 5:45pm

Submitted by jawsshark on Jul 2, 10 at 4:28pm

Submitted by jbambam on Jul 2, 10 at 2:24pm

Submitted by tabertot on Jul 3, 10 at 12:31am

Submitted by APromiseToBurn on Jul 2, 10 at 3:31pm

Submitted by panicparty5 on Jul 3, 10 at 1:17am

Submitted by here2say on Aug 4, 10 at 10:46am

Submitted by treesmokertea on Jul 3, 10 at 11:34am

Submitted by jaal on Jul 2, 10 at 6:18pm

Submitted by necrocat on Jul 2, 10 at 10:04pm

Submitted by DerKarismatisch on Aug 11, 12 at 11:24pm

Submitted by IMGr8NU on Jul 2, 10 at 2:23pm

Submitted by disturbedin1992 on Jul 3, 10 at 2:59am

Submitted by roflasian7 on Jul 2, 10 at 3:33pm

Submitted by kcs99 on Jul 3, 10 at 1:22am

Submitted by wolve on Jul 3, 10 at 12:33am

Submitted by YoullDo on Jul 3, 10 at 9:01am

Submitted by ktrb on Jul 2, 10 at 11:37pm

Submitted by TheMidnightNinja on Jul 2, 10 at 3:26pm

Submitted by Anonymous159753 on Jul 2, 10 at 3:26pm

Submitted by lionheart618 on Jul 8, 10 at 6:15pm

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