He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
