Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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