So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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