It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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