im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
