I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
