Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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