Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
