pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Rumble strips road head = magical
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
