I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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