haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
that's an acceptable place to lick
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
