the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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