it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
