Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
