Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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