The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
