Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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