if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
