we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
