OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize