Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Houston, we have a squirter
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
he high fived his dick after we had sex
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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